Monday, February 2, 2009

To Daddy....

erm.......
since you are the only one who regularly check...
i am gonna write you something..
erm.. dont know what to write actually..
Just really miss you
and hope you were here....
In Egypt and stuff:)...
And yeah you owe me a trip to the beach...
And i want to have my poem..
coz i wanna post it here:)
And take care!!!
LOve you lotzz
And Dont forget my upcoming Bday present haha:)

Monday, October 20, 2008

Air headed....


I dont event think I am air-headed

At least being air-headed means you got air in there

But me... I am EMPTY-HEADED!!!
I cant think right now

I havent been able for days

And its not like I dont try

I DO!!!!

Like I sit on my chair and say ok!!

Now I have an hour to think....

But all I do is spend that bloddy hour

Trying to squeeze an idea out!!!

NO!!!

I am not stupid...

Thank you very much!!

But for the last few days

I went numb!!!

To everything

REALLLLY...

I dont know where I am going

I dont know who I will call in the morning

And who i will go out with on a weekend

And that makes me feel weak

Like i am not in control of my life

MY EMPTY LIFE

LIKE MY EMPTY HEAD

ARRRRGGG!!!

I am not making sense huh??

Well dont fell bad...

I no more make sense to me

So that gives you no right to understand me...

Until I learn to understand me!!!

And learn how to get an idea in my empty head to understand...

Monday, August 18, 2008

I am Done..I am Through

Every morning you wake up

With pain in your chest

As if your heart is trying to

Get out of your chest

Every day is hell

Every day is full of pain

Sometimes you feel pain

And sometimes you feel nothing

And you feel that emptiness for a long time

Too long

That feeling nothing becomes more painful

Than feeling pain itself

I want to crawl into bed and prepare to die

I want to crawl and wait for death to come

I am Just Done

I am Royaly Through

Friday, August 8, 2008

My Stolen Memories

My memories were here
Alot of it
The cries, The laughter
The misery, The happiness
Alot of it was here
I miss it
I miss walking through that door
Climbing these stairs
Knocking on these doors
All my memories were stolen
GoNe
There were no more happiness
No more laughter
My innocent, childish laughter died away
Infront of my eyes
They died
Like my days
My memory of that happy girl
Who once stood in the belacony
Waiting patiently for her relatives to come
And everytime they showed up
A huge smile invaded her face
And a feeling warmed up her soul
The memory of that girl
Today..
Lies sadly within me
Feeling defeated, sad and lonely
Feeling invisible.. and not there
Helpless against that invincible power
That ruthlessly stole her precious memories


Saturday, July 19, 2008

You walked Away and I shed my tears


You walked away
and I shed my tears
you left me mourning my loss
trying to ease away the pain..
Pain that kept growing and growing
inside me
inside my fragile heart
You walked away
and...
Did`nt bother to look back
not for a minute
or even a second
You walked away
while my cries surrounded you
Did my pain not matter to you?
Did you not bare to look at me?
Did you feel guilt?
More feelings of hurt
More feelings of confusion
even feelings I did`nt understand
They all grew inside me
But you did`nt look back
And you just..
Walked away.....

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Feelings of Success.. Feeling of Confusion


Just yesterday.. just yesterday
Or was it before yesterday??
Anyway, 2 or 3 days ago
I heard te best news I ave heard in a while
" Shiffa, You have passes with a 82% total"
aka..
" Shiffa, You are not stupid anymore"
You know
When you are out on a really sunny day
going to a place that`s burning hot
Saaay... The Pyramids
And you are broke
And you are real thirsty
Then as you walk aimlessly
You find a COLD WATER FOUNTAIN
How would you feel??
You would get this feeling in your guts
Like.. " THANK GOD.. I WONT DIE" kinda feeling
that was the feeling
I was like
" That`s it, life will be perfecto after today"
But little did I know
...............
........
.....
...
..
.

Memories of my past
And my need to touch it
And the need to take a leap of faith
And explore it
To find out what got them back
After one full day of happiness
I will get to spend one month of confusion
My penalty for happiness
Suddenly all the excitement I had
All gone.....
All lost for one Bloody Memory
ONE MEMORY!!!
One memory....had the power
The guts.. The ability
To destroy the joy of 82 marks!!!
They always told me that success had a delicious taste
But i think they forgot to tell me that
When you loose your taste of success for a stupid memory
It will taste disgusting
And will get you totally HOPELESS!!!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Speechless..Feelingful..



Something so cool happened today
Guess What??
I passed
Like really I mean I am ecstatic
So happy that I could be too happy..
Its just when you feel you are not worth it
When you feel crap
Something happens
And you are like..
Hey I am actually sorta bright
Wonderful news
I am happy
For two days I am happy 90%
Its like WoW
I know things will be ok
I will be ok
So will my life
For once in my Life
I Feel like a True Winner
No one will get in my way
No one will
And I will live my dream
And I will smile the smile of success
A smile that i waited for so so long
It will come
I can See it coming
I hope the best for all
I hope everyone out there with a dream
Will live to pursuit it
Like I WILL